INTRODUCTION:

A. What is estrangement?
1. Estrangement has to do with distance; especially psychological distance. Implied in the word is the separation or disruption of a bond between people (American Heritage Dictionary).
2. Bible examples of estrangement (2 Sam. 18:33; Mt. 23:37)

B. Estrangement in the church
1. Loss of young people to the world
2. Personal example
3. Help for those suffering estrangement:

I. ACKNOWLEDGE THE CAUSE.

A. In a broad sense, the cause for estrangement is sin (Is. 59:1-2; 2 Chr. 15:1-2; Prov. 16:28; 17:9 cf. Neh. 4:19; Ph. 4:2).

B. In a specific sense, the cause for estrangement is pride and envy.
1. Pride is an “inordinate and unreasonable self-esteem, attended with insolence and rude treatment of others” (Wycliffe Dict. of Theology).
a. Pride kills our relationship with others (Prov. 15:25; 16:18; 11:2).
b. Pride kills our relationship with God (Prov. 16:5; Jas. 4:6).
c. Pride strikes at the heart of our primary obligations to God and man (Mt. 22:37-39).
2. Envy is “a feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by contemplation of another’s desirable possessions or qualities, with a strong desire to have them for oneself” (American Heritage Dictionary).
a. Words associated with envy attest to its destructive effect in human relationships (Tit. 3:3).
b. Envy led to the crucifixion of our Lord (Mt. 27:18).

C. Testing our assumption with biblical examples.
1. Pride as a cause for estrangement
a. Cain and Abel (Gen. 4:3-5, 8)
b. Sarai and Hagar (Gen. 16:9)
2. Envy as a cause for estrangement
a. Joseph and his brothers (Gen. 37:3-4)
b. David and Saul (1 Sam. 18:6-9; Ps. 55:12-14)

II. APPLY THE CURE.

A. The cure for estrangement is the cross.
1. Reconciliation “is a change of personal relations between human beings…or between God and man….By this change a state of enmity and estrangement is replaced by one of peace and fellowship” (Wycliff Dictionary of Theology).
2. We are reconciled to God and one another through the blood of Jesus (Rm. 5:8-10; Eph. 2:13-18).
3. Good relationships in the church and family are reflections of the kindness and grace of God (Tit. 3:3-7; 1 Pet. 2:1-3; Col. 3:12-14).

B. As two people focus on being right with God, they will draw closer to each other.
1. This requires humble self-examination (2 Cor. 13:5; Ps. 139:23-24).
2. This also requires penitence and prayer (1 Jn. 1:9).

C. As we seek nearness to God, we must actively pursue peace with those from whom we are estranged (Mt. 5:23-24; Gal. 6:1).
1. If met with resistance, we must remain patient.
2. Rejection is possible (Rm. 12:18 cf. 1 Sam. 8:7).
3. Build rather than burn bridges.

III. ACCEPT THE COMPASSION THAT IS AVAILABLE.

A. Jesus knows the pain of rejection (Is. 53:3; Mk. 8:31; Acts 4:11).
1. Jesus comes to the aid of those estranged (Hb. 4:14-16; 1 Pet. 5:6-7).
2. Does Jesus Care? (J. Lincoln Hall).

B. There is comfort in the Father’s abiding love.
1. He will not forsake us (Ps. 37:25; Hb. 13:5).
2. His love is a great source of strength for His people (Rm. 8:35, 37-39).

C. There is the compassion of our spiritual family (Gal. 6:2; 1 Th. 5:11).

CONCLUSION:

A. Things we can do to help the situation:
1. Identify sins that contribute to the problem.
2. Repent and genuinely apologize for our part in the problem.
3. Forgive from the heart when forgiveness is sought–avoid holding a grudge when it is not.
4. Move out of the past and live in the present.
5. Prayerfully wait until reconciliation is desired and the put yourself fully into rebuilding the broken relationship.

B. The Parable of the Prodigal Son (Lk. 15:11-32)
1. Pride and envy are still the greatest obstacles to reconciliation.
2. The first step which must be taken is to humble ourselves to the will of God and do whatever it takes to make things right.