In spite of the fact that friendship is one of our deepest longings, we are often at a loss to know how to go about fulfilling this urgent need. Fortunately, God’s word gives us some timely principles related to friendship. In our last article, we noted that friendship involves giving what needs to be given. Sometimes, it may be just a listening ear. Other times, it may be a shoulder to cry on or help in carrying an oppressive load. But, in every case, a true friend gives what needs to be given.
A second responsibility of friendship is that a true friend corrects what needs to be corrected. According to Bill Gothard, there are four levels of friendship: (1) Acquaintance; (2) Casual friendship; (3) Close friendship; and, (4) Intimate friendship. Acquaintance gives us the freedom to ask general questions. Casual friendship gives us the freedom to ask specific questions. Close friendship allows us to suggest mutual projects. And, intimate friendship gives us the freedom to correct each other.
Correction is best accomplished in the most intimate level of friendship. Solomon said, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). Like “iron sharpening iron” (vs. 17), we can make each other better when love and acceptance are unquestioned. Of course, there are times when we must correct one another regardless of what level of friendship seems to be occupied. The apostle Paul says, “Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Gal. 6:1). Be careful of correcting someone if you cannot relate to them with the love and humility of Jesus. But, the bottom-line is this: a friend will not let you do things that are physically or spiritually self-destructive without making an effort to point you in the right direction.
We will continue our discussion on the responsibilities of friendship in next week’s bulletin.