Aristotle described friendship as “A single soul in two bodies.” Robert Louis Stevenson added: “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” The American Heritage Dictionary defines a friend as “A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.”

We all need friends. David, whom the Bible describes as “a man after God’s heart” (Acts 13:22), was a man who valued friendship. We are most familiar with his relationship with Jonathan, the son of King Saul. The Bible says that “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself” (1 Sam. 18:1). Later, we read that “he loved him as he loved his own life” (20:17). David had other close friends, including Hushai (2 Sam. 15:37), Hiram (1 Kgs. 5:1), and the elders of Judah (1 Sam. 30:26). He was a man who valued friendship. Daniel
was also a man with friends. We teach our children about Daniel’s three friends: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Dan. 2:13, 17-18). Similarly, judging from comments made in the epistles, we conclude that the apostle Paul was a man with many friends (Rm. 16:5, 9, 12; Phile. 1; Acts 15:25; 19:31). Even our Lord counted friendship as a dear possession. Peter, James, and John seemed especially close to the heart of our Lord during His earthly ministry. In his gospel, John repeatedly refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved. Jesus also had a very special relationship with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus (Jn. 11:11).

Good friends are very important to the quality of our lives. They enhance our feeling of self-worth and provide a much-needed sense of belonging. In the body of Christ, friendship is another way of feeling accepted. We all need to learn how to build friendship. But, before we can build friendship, we need to understand something about its responsibilities.

The first responsibility of friendship involves giving what needs to be given. When Job went through his difficulties, his friends showed up to help. The second chapter of Job says that when they “heard of all the adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place…and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him” (vs. 11). They saw him in his pitiful state and “raised their voices and wept…they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great” (vss. 12-13). Up to this point, they proved themselves to be good friends. It was only when they began to speak that they became “miserable comforters” (Job 16:2). “For the despairing man,” Job said, “there should be kindness from his friend…” (6:11). Instead, they gave him the added burden of guilt (19:21-22).

Someone has said that “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Solomon said it this way: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17). If you consider yourself to be a true friend, then you have the responsibility to help in time of need. Solomon identifies the friend as the one who is there to lift you up when you have fallen (Eccl. 4:10). A true friend gives what needs to be given. May God help us to be true friends.