Strong marriages are not accidental nor are they the result of following after human wisdom. Entering into marriage ought not to be an uncharted course into the fog. Faith requires dependency on God (2 Cor. 5:7). Therefore, an excellent starting point for all who enter into marriage is to realize that “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it…” (Ps. 127:1).

Our young people can and must enter into marriage with a firm grasp of what makes it successful. Every marriage requires adjustments. But, there are three fundamental principles which must be accepted by those seeking to prepare themselves for the lifelong work of building a Christian home.

1. Make God the primary partner in your marriage relationship. A Christian marriage is not about “the two of us.” Solomon tells us that “a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Make your marriage a three-strand relationship, centered around God as the primary focus of your lives.

2. Make your spouse your number one priority in all earthly relationships. In the beginning, God said that “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). Your relationship with your mate has a higher priority than your relationship to your parents, your children, or your friends. It has a higher priority than your job, your recreational pursuits, or any civic cause in which you might engage. Therefore, steadfast loyalty is required in a Christian marriage.

3. Make the unselfish attitude of Christ your constant pursuit as you seek to meet the needs of your spouse. Paul says: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3–4).

Instead of merely asking if your prospective mate has been baptized and is a member of the Lord’s church, perhaps, you should be asking if he or she puts God first in their life, if he or she is willing to make you their number one priority among all earthly relationships, and if he or she is the kind of person who is genuinely unselfish and humble in the way they treat you.

Above all, be the kind of person you want to marry. You cannot change others, you can only change yourself. Know that your church family wants you to succeed in this most precious of earthly relationships.