Forgiveness is something we all need and something each of us must be willing to give if we would enjoy true spiritual freedom. The first step toward such freedom is in the pursuit of an attitude of love. Love makes forgiveness possible. Love drew salvation’s plan and love is that which carries His message of forgiveness to the world.
In addition to love, a second thing we must do in order to gain the freedom of forgiveness is that we must release the past. We must come to recognize that the past is the past. It is history to be learned from, not mourned. The things which have happened have happened and cannot be changed. But, if we refuse to accept this truth, we will forever be prisoners of the past. Paul wrote, “but one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Ph. 3:13-14).
A third thing we must do in order to gain the freedom of forgiveness is that we must reconstruct the relationship. This is where the real work of forgiveness begins. Jesus taught that, if a brother sins against us, we should go to him and seek to restore the damaged relationship (Mt. 18:15-18). It is never easy to review past hurts, wrongs, or injustices; but such may be necessary for real healing to begin. Working through our pain and anger with another person helps us surrender our animosity and bitterness and develop a spirit of Christian love and understanding.
Finally, once we have restored an attitude of love–once we have released the past and sought to reconstruct the relationship–we must then reaffirm the relationship. This is where reconciliation takes place. Celebrate it. Make new commitments to each other. But allow time for healing to take place. It is possible to go beyond painful experiences and build and even better relationship in the future.
May God grant each of us a more willing disposition to forgive those who sin against us and a greater appreciation for the great debt from which we have been forgiven through the grace of God!