Forbearance is closely related to patience. Forbearance involves “putting up with” or “holding back from.” We recognize this attribute in God who has “put up with” sinful humanity, “holding back from” divine wrath. God’s patience is demonstrated by His loving forbearance.
Christians must imitate God in their practice of forbearance. Paul says, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:1-3). Christians do not simply “put up with” one another; they “put up with one another in love.” Love is the motivation that assists us in overlooking the faults of others. Peter says, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8). In what sense does love cover a multitude of sins? In the sense that repentance shown and forgiveness sought is met with open arms and a forbearing spirit. On the other hand, when a brother or sister’s sin threatens their eternal well-being, love will not allow us to simply ignore their perilous situation.
William James said, “The essence of genius is to know what to overlook.” As we become aware of another’s faults and shortcomings, we need to remember that it is not our job to straighten out every little failure or shortcoming we encounter, lest that become our full-time job. In many cases, forbearance is the preferred alternative. There will be times when we must lovingly confront someone who stands in opposition to the truth. When such is the case, we must do so with careful introspection and prayer (Gal. 6:1). As we correct, keep in mind how we would like to be treated if roles were reversed (Mt. 7:12).
When should I confront a brother or sister in Christ? And, when is it wise to practice forbearance? These are not easy questions to answer. But one thing is certain, forbearance will always be needed in our dealings with others. Paul said, “Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men” (Ph. 4:5). How will such a spirit be known? Not by public proclamation, but by consistent and disciplines practice.
— Glen Elliott —