Avoidance of conflict is a natural impulse. When possible, we prefer to “be at peace with all men” (Rm. 12:18). And so, for the sake of peace and the avoidance of confrontation, we remain silent and leave unspoken corrective words which might have helped others along their way.
There are times when silence is an appropriate response. Scripture says, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly…” (Prov. 26:4). Indeed, our speech needs to be guarded, seasoned as it were with salt” (Ps. 141:7; Col. 4:6). In fact, we should be “slow to speak” in anger knowing that “the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (Jas. 1:19-20). But, it is not always a virtue to remain silent.
There is a time to speak up. And, when we do, we must “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). Remaining silent can be most unloving and selfish. Fear of risking our relationship with someone we love, we remain silent. We don’t want to be “judgmental.” Then, later, when our concerns are confirmed, we begin wondering what might have been if only they had heeded our unspoken words!
“Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed” (Prov. 26:5). It is not that love is non-existent; but that it is not expressed in a way that truly seeks the best interests of the one loved. Solomon goes on to say, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” (vs. 6). Momentary pain can produce long term good. For too long our love has remained silent to the untold harm of those who might have been strengthened had we dared to speak the truth in love!
— Glen Elliott —