Robert Louis Stevenson said, “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” Indeed, friends are among our most cherished possessions. We were not designed to live in isolation. We need friends. Friends enhance our feeling of self-worth and provide a much-needed sense of belonging. Church growth specialists tell us two things: (1) The vast majority of those who are brought to Jesus are initially influenced by friends or relatives; and, (2) Friendships are also very important to the development and continued faithfulness of new Christians. These statistics reveal the importance of learning how to build friendship.
Friendship involves accepting responsibility. A true friend must give what needs to be given. Job’s friends responded to his ordeal and provided much-needed sympathy and comfort so long as they remained silent (Job 2:11-13). But, when they opened their mouths, they became “miserable comforters” (16:2). Job observed that “For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend…” (6:11). Instead, they accused him of wickedness and urged him to repent. It has been said that “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world has walked out.” Solomon put it this way: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17). If you consider yourself to be a true friend, then you have the responsibility to help in time of need.
Another responsibility of friendship is to correct what needs to be corrected. Only an intimate friendship encourages an interchange of correction. Solomon writes, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). Like “iron sharpening iron” (Prov. 27:17), we are best able to correct one another when love and acceptance are unquestioned. The bottom line is this: a friend will not let you continue on a course that will harm you without making some effort to point you in the right direction.
Finally, we should say that friendship involves sharing what needs to be shared. It’s hard to imagine sharing friendship with the unsaved without thinking about their need for the gospel. The gospel is meant to be shared. And, of all the people we know, our friends ought to be the ones with whom we are most anxious to share the good news. There is a risk attached to sharing the gospel. What if they reject the message or reject us as we deliver it? Are we so afraid of losing our friends that we will let them go to hell without sharing with them the precious gospel? On the day of judgment, how would you like to hear your best friend say, “You never mentioned Him to me!”
— Glen Elliott —